Well.....it's been a year since I last updated this website. I initially planned to make this website a blog channel that I worked on and updated when I started med school, but of course I didn't do that. I wanted to start now since I need other things to do that aren't lazing around, and given that 1st year has finished and I'm moving into 2nd year soon.This past year has been really beneficial for myself, but at the same time, detrimental. I guess starting with positives, med school has finally given me somewhat of a purpose in day to day life. I'm 22 now, and I left my engineering course when I was 19. It just wasn't for me, and the 2 years following that were hell. During that time, I kind of made myself feel as if I don't deserve to enjoy life or have hobbies until I find something to do with my life. I wasn't even sure I could get into med school. I worked a difficult care job during the first year, and the person I was caring for was extremely difficuly. In hindsight, I'm amazed at how I got through that period of my life. The application process was difficuly but eventually I managed to get in, of course I was 21 by the time I got in. I struggle with the fact that I don't feel like I've achieved much from 18-21, and it upsets me. I wish I didn't have that outlook back then, but I can't really do anything about it now. In some ways, I did need time to myself. I was a very reserved person, and I genuinely was struggling with moving out from home during uni. This past year was not only so much easier, but also made me appreciate living on my own. But that then leads me back to thinking I'm so behind other people, especially beong surrounded by people who are 2-3 years younger. It's not too bad though, and I enjoy the course. I managed to get into the top 15% on both my exams, so I got excellents for them. Get a certain number of excellents throughout the course and then you get either merit or distinction honors on your degree. I worked by ass off this past year, and it was a strange experience to start revising and studying again after a few years, but I settled back quite nicely. Of course, however, I still don't feel like I've accomplished much outside of that. I made some friends I think, and I guess I've gained confidence, but I really just dont think I have anything outside of my studies. Priveledged position to be in, I know, especially compared to my circumstances before. Honestly, I feel super boring. I have no hobbies, skills, interests and I don't play sports. I seriously need to do somethingš, but I can't get motivated to start anything. I guess this is the first thing I can start, and better late than never.
Update - Well it's reaching the end of the holidays, haven't really done much. Getting an extension on the family house and since someone needs to be home, I'm kind of forced to stay. I was really looking forward to doing stuff this holiday but I guess I should've expected it. I guess on the brigtside, it will make it easier to transition back into Uni for 2nd year if I'm desparate to move out. I've been recently playing a romhack on pokemon platinum, renegade platinum. I'm at around the 4th gym, and it has been a reasonable challenge so far. Nothing too extreme, but it's nice to play a pokemon game and have to actually switch out and have your team members faint. My team right now is torterra, electabuzz, bastiodon, mismagius, typhlosion and huntail, but I'm not opposed to using more party members and rotate them round.
This is my precious chubby cat, Pearl
